Episode 3. Get Off The Merry-Go-Round-Of-Stupidness

Do you remember Homer Simpson burning his hand repeatedly? 'Ouch!' 'Ouch!' 'Ouch!' Continually repeating the exact same action and hoping to get different results each time. That, my friends, is what  being on the Merry-Go-Round-Of-Stupidness is all about. I thought I had a lifelong pass on it. Going round and round, nowhere different, nothing ever changing. The same old misery. Making the same mistakes and never learning from them. Then I realised, no-one was making me stay on this pointless ride. In fact, I kept buying the blasted tickets...'D'OH' (Okay Homer, pipe down, this is my blog!)

I realised that I had to take control of my thoughts, because they were creating what I was feeling. In turn the bad feelings were affecting my behaviour. Negative thoughts led to anger, misery, sorrow and despair. When I felt those things, I was too ill, disabled and scared to enjoy nicer activities and interactions with people that are important to me. The isolation then led to more negative thoughts. More painful feelings. More bad behaviour.  Round and round and round.

Realising this, I knew I had to let go of old pain. If  bad memories come along, I  acknowledge them, then I let them pass. Controlling my breathing, (inhale for 7 seconds, hold for 4 and exhale for 11) until I feel calm. Very little causes me to lose my temper these days. I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. I take things in my stride. A stress-head no longer. WOOHOO!

Part of getting off the Merry-Go-Round-Of-Stupidness for me, was to look at my life and identify that which no longer served me; poor behaviour - other people's and my own; anyone who didn't respect my boundaries; people who always puts their needs before mine; I finally accepted that I can't control the way others behave towards me, so I eliminated them from my life.  Holding onto this junk prevented me from respecting myself, kept  me worried, sad, angry and tired. When I started to let the negative stuff go, I was able to practice self-love, self-respect and self-care. It made me stronger, healthier, happier and more self-sufficient. 

Set some boundaries for yourself. It's a great way to stop being dragged round in circles over and over. People will only treat you the way you allow them to. I've lost people in my life through it, but as they had no respect for my time, my feelings or my personal space, then it was no loss.   The people that do respect me are all still around. Happy days I'd say.

© Gillian Cullis (Updated 29/06/2018)

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